Take your child to work day

This Thursday is "Take your child to work day". I am pondering the concept. I can see a couple of problems right off the bat. First, I hear plenty of whining and crying on days when no children are at work. Second, many people seem strongly opposed to children at work. Just ask Nike and Kathy Lee Gifford. Finally, and most significantly for me, my entire job revolves around conference calls, computer console screens and emails. Any kid that comes to work with me will decide to drop out of school and give up on life.

Now I see that the day has been renamed to "Take our Daughters and Sons to work day". I didn't catch the reasoning behind the renaming. Maybe you can take them even if they are no longer children. I don't have any children, so I decided to observe "Take your inner child to work day." My inner child, code named ICK for Inner Child-Kid, hasn't seen much action since Dr Phil's "get over it and take some responsibility" style took over pop psychology.

The very first thing ICK noted: "Your office is boring! There are no toys." So I made ICK take my first conference call of the week whilst letting my outer adult go down for more coffee and the paper. Oddly, nobody seemed to notice this switch. After the call, with ICK getting fidgety again, I decided to allow her to assist in some actual work, called: "playing with scotch tape." This involves printing out my car insurance cards and "laminating" them with about 50 yards of scotch tape. Admit it, everybody (I mean everybody's inner child) loves to play with scotch tape.

After that, all facets of my personality got tired of trying to come up with amusing things to say about "Take Your Child to Work Day" and started thinking of other days that we can dedicate to specific child-centered activities, such as:
1. Teach your child some manners day (one day a year would be more than most kids in my neighborhood currently get)
2. Lock your child in the basement with a box of cheerios Day
3. Make your child sleep in a cage day (this is more of a night activity)
4. Lose your child to child services day (sometimes follows cage day)
5. Let your child play with a plastic bag day
6. DON'T take your noisy child to a restaurant day
7. Act like a child at work day (certain co-workers observe this day all year)

I'm sure there must be enough days to fill up an entire year, if not a whole decade.

People who should NOT take their children to work:
1. Strippers
2. Airline pilots
3. Proctologists
4. Me
5. ...